Getting to the nitty gritty.

     Hello there Reader, I haven’t posted in a few days, I know, but I am going to listen to more Sedona tonight and wanted to touch base with you before I do so. I have been working hard on how much I want approval the last couple of days. I have been releasing about it nearly nonstop. With every release a different face, or situation comes to my mind, a lot of them more than once of course, but with each emergence there is less substance to each one, they have less of a hold on me. In the end, as is usually the case, it was really finally about me approving myself. I feel like I have gotten to a new level of me, and I am open to having more to do but also grateful to be where I am now. Let me explain.

     It took time for me to finally get to the truth of it, and I would imagine its not that much different for most everyone else, but it caused me a good deal of shame to realize that what I wanted was to be special, be better. Yes, better than everyone else. It sounds just awful to say it out loud, but it is true. I am sure sometimes even you feel that way don’t you? I can tell you that the second I admitted that I felt that way, I felt another shift in my brain. I was able to release that desire to be better than anyone, and get even deeper into the understanding that I am exactly the same as you. As everyone else. EXACTLY. Maybe we are on different paths, or on different parts of our journey but we are the same none the less. Figuring this out allowed me to open up in a new way to loving myself and accepting myself. It felt, like I was flying, that I had allowed me to enter into a space where I can be better, better than the me I was before. That is the only better that will ever make a difference, it’s the only better any of us can ever be. It can be difficult to look at your motivations honestly but doing so is the heart of this work, and I am grateful for every opportunity to become more.

     I have mentioned to you a couple times now how I am feeling my brain move, or change, or something. I am not sure what that brain feeling is, but I do love it. I have thought about it though. Is it a new brain pathway forming? Is it me settling into myself more? Is it my thoughts expanding? I don’t know. It just sort of feels like a shifting more than anything else. I only know it means I am changing. I know it means I am growing and that is enough for me. When I wonder about that too much I totally hear Hale saying, “Are you trying to figure it out?” That makes me smile, and I remember to let go trying figure it out. I can I hear his voice a lot these days and every time I do it gently reminds me to be good to myself and remember that I have spent a really long time learning to live an awful stunted life. Changing that will take the rest of my days. I am quite excited.

     Reader before I go and get back to the job at hand I want to take a moment and Thank You. Your comments, tweets, emails, & facebook messages have been beyond amazing. Your love and support and encouragement are such a fantastic surprise and reflection of the law of attraction for me and I hope that in some way I am able to give that back to you. I hope you always remember to be nice to yourself Reader, I have learned how destructive it is to be mean to yourself, and if you take anything away from my blog I hope it is to show yourself loving respect. I am so grateful for you, and I love you so much. Sharing my road with you is my passion, and I am so happy to have you on the journey. Never hesitate to contact me. I love to hear from you and read and respond to everything I get.

Thanks xoxo
Jammy

Going through some real changes.

     Hello again Reader, thanks for stopping by. I am officially half way through the cds of The Sedona Method, which puts me at the end of the Effortless Wealth and Success part of the program. I will be starting on relationships next, I am thinking tomorrow. I had some amazing things happen to me last night and frankly I want to share a bit with you, release some more, and just enjoy where I am now.

     Thursday I listened to CD nine, which was very much in the same vein as the previous Wealth cds, continuing to take things deeper with each cd, each release. It was very much centered around making goals, making sub goals and releasing on the inner core reason that you want the goal, whatever that goal is. This cd got very much into the holistic way of releasing where you go back and forth on an issue, such as releasing on scarcity then on the opposite which would be abundance. Each release getting closer and closer to the basic question, would you rather want, or have. There was also some releasing on needing to be do or have something to be complete, and on not wanting to be where you are. Accepting that you are complete, whole and perfect in this moment, in this place. 

     Then last night I got started with cds 10 and 11, the last two left in the money cds, & I admit to thinking "I will bang these two out..." and to a degree I supposed that is correct if you are measuring in time. I am not, I cant. I have never in my life experienced anything like what happened to me last night. I have never felt so free or so grateful.

     At the beginning of cd 10 Hale guides you in some advantage/disadvantage releasing. Which is very much what you would think it is, with the exception that you aren't making a list so much as just going back and forth like other holistic releases. Hale even points out that if you don't feel anything on one side or another then just release on that too. I was releasing on several things for this really, writing a book, my blog, my readers, money. This process is great for a lot of things like making decisions, clearing up your goals, and letting go of your problems (or your perception of problems). It is also really important that you phrase your problems in the past tense and your decisions or goals in the present tense, because it is all about putting yourself in the space of having not wanting. At this point that was still only a concept in my mind, but I felt something nagging. I had been telling my brain and asking God to push my thought process over that proverbial speed bump, and it felt like I was getting close to something.

     Around this point Hale led his group through a release on being hard on yourself, and I felt my throat start to tighten. I have been giving myself a hard time about this work because it hasn't been harder. So hearing Hale talk about that was one more time where it was like he was reading my mind. It was perfect timing. He takes you from here straight into some releasing on wanting to be right. Just writing about this, my face gets a tiny bit hot thinking how strong my feelings of wanting to be right were as we did the release. As you let go of wanting to be right or the opposite of that, he tells you to be open to a solution beyond right or wrong and it was like inside me I could see a spotlight snap on in the distance and in that spot light is the real true unmasked me. I literally started shaking it was so clear, so real. I could tell that in that spot light was the space of having and when I step into that I will want no more. I knew I was getting closer to something... something real.

     Then it was time for cd 11, Hale is talking to his group at the start of this cd and he asks the group to shout out to him negative beliefs they have about money. Its time to do a Beliefs Process. Hale has mentioned this a couple times but we haven't don't it yet so I got a bit excited. Maybe it was a premonition? A beliefs process is just exactly what it sounds like. You release on a negative belief you have, in this case about money. For me those beliefs are similar to what most people yelled out, I don't deserve it, makes me greedy to want it, selfish, there isn't enough, would make me happy, gives security. So we started to release. This is where I started to change.

     At first it seemed pretty much like any other releasing, I was feeling the emotions and the beliefs start to float away from me, Hale was just leading release after release and I remember I thought "I am not lucky" at some point, and started to release on that. As I did that, I felt something move in my head. I don't mean I felt myself have a thought or something. I mean I felt something shift in my brain. I felt the processes of how I think change. I shifted the release a bit to security since my want for money stems from that mostly, and I just kept releasing on wanting to be secure, and all of a sudden I could see myself in a box. Outside living in a box. I was smiling I was happy and doing small domestic things in this vision. I was secure and happy and safe... in a box. I felt my brain move again, and I started to laugh and cry at the same time. I knew that security came from me not money. I knew I enjoyed my apartment more than a box, because it is more comfortable, but it didn't make me secure anymore than the box did. It wasn't the source of my joy anymore than the box was. I am my security. I am my happiness, and with every release a new awareness came over me and I knew that I had just stepped out of wanting, and into the spotlight of having.

     From here the rest of the cd was like a fog to me, I kept feeling myself expand with every release we did and as we got near the end and started to work on action steps and releasing on taking action to reach our goals, something that would have not too long ago terrified me I just had this still, peaceful feeling in my heart and brain that I can't ever remember feeling before that. I just kept writing down goals and ways to reach them and it wasn't like I was trying to think of anything, it was just there already. I already have it. I only need to open up and receive it.

     If you are struggling in a space of wanting, and I can tell you I lived there for a long time, that place is only in your head. You are in control and you can change the way you think. I can say that for certain. Just stay open inside and keep letting go. You will get there. We will get there together, Reader. I am so happy and grateful that you are along for the ride.
Jammy