Cigarettes

So as I may have mentioned in the past I quit smoking in the recent past. Not my first try. I have quit a couple of times before, once for a year once a bit longer. I do hope this is the last time i quit. but OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN I WANT TO SMOKE SO BADLY! I cant begin to explain how much I want for their to be no consequence to smoking for me. That is not the case. I could feel in side my body the real physical effects of what cigarettes were doing to me and still it took me years to consider quitting and this is my third time trying. I am ashamed of the hold that Cigarettes have held over me in my life. Not to say it was entirely my own fault  I was raised to smoke in a huge family of smokers in a house with chain smoking parents with so little regard for their children's health that my own mother had her children light her cigarettes for her... wonder how I became addicted to one of the most addictive substances known to man. lol I think that deck was not stacked in my favor. but this is not a blog of self pity or recrimination for my parents. It is a Blog of Hope and Strength, and Fighting! Fighting for my freedom from smoking from this addiction that has ruled my life stolen my years and eaten my money. Good Luck to anyone who tries to quit. My prayers are with you and I lend you my strength as I hope you have lent me yours. Jammy