Monday, April 4, 2011

Hi There Reader

     Hello Reader! Been a few days since my last post but I have been faithfully writing every day for you and here we go… I watched Burlesque this week end and at the beginning of the song, But I am a good girl, Xtina says all breathy and sexy like, “Where have I been all my life?” and that is exactly how I feel about everything that is happening to me now. Actually that movie has many references that made me think of the secret. Perfect timing again, seriously everything I see lately is like God going looky here at the secret!
     You know its great to feel these changes in me, and just like the way that one bad thing leads to another all the good things are not only leading to another they are running to the another and another and another…. It feels so good to feel this way and I am so excited knowing more is on the way and that I have only just begun to feel good, good about me about the world about the people in my life and my role in the universe. My gratitude is boundless. I am happy to be taking back my power, to take back my joy. These things are mine to have and to cherish. I am so grateful to be shown this. I can tell you that every movement of my body feels more purposeful and more calm, every thought feels more profound, easy, and free, I can feel my body lightening as my soul strengthens as I release the chains that I have put on myself that held me down and kept me from soaring to the heights I wanted to fly to and to the experiences I wanted to have. I let others views of me dictate who I was. It feels amazing to release that and just be who I am, and even though I am still discovering who that is daily, it is MY journey to take and MY life to live. I absolutely don’t have to accept others views as my own, they aren’t any more or less valid or real than mine. I feel so relieved to have this come to me when it did. But I don’t believe it was any kind of accident. I asked for it. I begged for it and I demanded it. God brought it to me just as surely as he brought you here to this page to read these words. I trust in that. I am moved to tears with gratitude for that and for you Reader. You help me more than you can imagine by reading this and spreading the message to all you touch throughout your day and your journey. I am grateful for you.
     I woke up today (this blog has taken a couple days to write and by today I mean Friday) simply overflowing with goodness. Good feelings, good thoughts, good emotions. I have had absolutely no difficulty in combating any of my negative thoughts or emotions and every day those thoughts are less and less frequent in my mind and life. So far I have kept my tapping kind of general, things such as anxiety/fear feelings of powerlessness, I have tapped only specifically about my mom, and that was due to the fact that I am caring for her and want to be as loving with her as I can. It is working and I am pleased about that. There are a couple of things that have happened in my life that were very traumatic to me and I know in the next few days I will spend some time tapping on those subjects. I think I haven’t don’t them yet for a couple of reasons. First I wanted to try it out and see how it worked on general things before getting too specific, and also I wanted to really put my taps together thoughtfully before I begin. I am working on that now. I know that I will be doing those taps in the next few days I will put them here for you and of course let you know how it went. So far all my taps have really worked for me I am so grateful to have found this method to help myself. I am not perfect I am still learning and growing everyday but I love and accept myself and how I am embracing all of these changes in my life.
     I started today (Saturday) a bit different, I woke up happy and grateful but a bit annoyed with my neighbors I had only been asleep 4 hours and they were yelling… AGAIN Anyway I couldn’t get back to sleep and I kept thinking about taps that I knew I needed to do but had been avoiding. Like one about my brother, he molested me when I was young as a way to pay my mom back for abandoning him when he and my other older siblings were children. So decision made I finished writing up the tap for him that I had been working on and got started. Boy did I bring some crap up, and it exhausted me so much I feel asleep shortly after doing several rounds of tapping on the subject of him and what happened. That was not a great idea, I slept awful and woke up worse. So after being up for a while and having some coffee and what not I got back to it. As I was tapping I realized I was getting very angry so I switched the focus of the tap to how mad it made me that he violated me the way he did. I feel lighter and freer after this tap than I have since… well I don’t honestly know since when. I don’t think ever really. I cried a lot during the tap and felt a lot of things but its nice to know that I don’t have to feel that way anymore. Its amazing how well this technique works but if you really think about it maybe not so much. I mean the places that you tap are the same places you see most people rub pinch or touch when they are sad or stressed or mad. Its nice to be able to really put them to good use.
     I really skipped doing much tapping Sunday since I had really done some great work the two days before. But when I went grocery shopping some fear popped up and so. I think before bed tonight a bit of time spent on a fear tap will be perfect. It is really a habit for me to feel freaked out about groceries. I have spent some time going hungry and of course not realizing that I attracted that to me, but I need to change the way I think there and tapping should be a nice way to get those feelings under control so I can use the LoA in my life in a more effective loving and grateful way. Well I am about to end this blog here, its Monday morning and I haven’t slept yet, thank God my mom doesn’t get up till twoish. I intend to do some tapping tomorrow on fear and see what I dredge up I want to stamp out all the negative thoughts I can find in me. You can be sure I will bring to you here all I find out, experience, learn or just plain think is interesting. Happy day to you Reader, and again I am grateful for you. Jammy

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