Thursday, June 9, 2011

Last minute thoughts before I get back to Sedona.

     As I sit down today to listen to the next SM cd I felt restless and it occurred to me that maybe I had a few things I needed to get out of me a bit before I could move on. The LoA has tried to make itself known to me many times before. A couple of times I started to grasp it but most of the things you read about it are more the end result and less a how to on getting there, and I needed more tools to help me find the place that inside me that these people had found inside themselves. Frankly it made me feel like I was too stupid to get it, or not blessed by God enough to be gifted with it. Honestly I think that a lot of the people who write these types of books do so from a place of look at how awesome I am instead of look at how awesome you can be, here let me show you how. That is what I like so much about Joe Vitale, Bob Proctor, and Hale Dwoskin, they don’t point at themselves and say look at my greatness. They look at you and say here is your greatness. Take it. I feel like I am still taking baby steps on this path I have stepped on called self acceptance, but I am taking them. I keep reminding myself to congratulate the small steps as well as the big ones. I have to stop being so mad at myself for taking so long to find this path.

     All this time I have been searching, searching for something that once added to me would then make me whole and complete, when the exact opposite process of elimination of those things that aren’t me has been the right road to take the whole time. Not a diminishing but a removing. I have started to picture myself inside like a beautiful red rose, that has started to bloom. The rose keeps opening and opening, it never stops, and as the old petals drop way, the petals that don’t belong, a beautiful light deep in the center is slowly uncovered. Each petal that opens and eventually drops away is one more limiting belief that I am letting go, and the light is the true me deep inside. Each shaft of light that is revealed by the blooming is another aspect of me that has been pushed down, stunted, buried. Some of that was done by others and some by me. The tools I am using now to do this work come from many sources. But the work is mine. I am doing it. I am growing this beautiful garden of me. I am letting myself reach for the sun, and when I resist it I remember what I learned on SM resistance cd and release it and I try to remember to always thank God for another opportunity to grow and release my inner light. And to always be easy with myself.

     I was in the shower the other day, it was right after I got Joe’s book and joined the group on Facebook that started up around it. I was channeling this crazy, crazy energy and I all of a sudden I had this inspiration, and I opened my arms lifted my face and said, “God take my energy!” I kept saying it over and over, and the most amazing thing happened. I could feel my energy whoosh out of me and as it happened I realized that as fast as it was flowing from me it was also coming to me just as fast and just as strong, hell if I am totally honest it was way more. It was then that it became crystal clear to me that my energy is God’s energy. That what I give to him I receive back. It was the clearest most joyful moment I have ever experienced in my life. Every day I think I get a tiny bit closer to living like that every day.
     Before I go, in Joe’s book at the end of the chapters for each of the steps he gave us action steps to take. I wanted to share mine with you for the first step.

1 Limiting Beliefs About Money

2 Opposite of Those Beliefs

I haven’t earned it

Who Says?

I am meant to be poor

I am meant to be what I want

I am not lucky

I create my life

3. Other beliefs that keep me down, are that I am lazy, forgetful, and not as good as everyone else, the opposite of those things is that my attitude gives me energy, I remember everything I need to and I am just as awesome as I want to be. I get better everyday at trusting myself and the greater good that guides us all. I am so grateful to have been given the tools I need to create the life I deserve and desire. I am going to do everything in my power to be everything that I can and help as many people do the same as God will let me touch. Just the thought of it humbles me.

Thanks Reader for taking this ride with me,

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