Getting to the nitty gritty.

     Hello there Reader, I haven’t posted in a few days, I know, but I am going to listen to more Sedona tonight and wanted to touch base with you before I do so. I have been working hard on how much I want approval the last couple of days. I have been releasing about it nearly nonstop. With every release a different face, or situation comes to my mind, a lot of them more than once of course, but with each emergence there is less substance to each one, they have less of a hold on me. In the end, as is usually the case, it was really finally about me approving myself. I feel like I have gotten to a new level of me, and I am open to having more to do but also grateful to be where I am now. Let me explain.

     It took time for me to finally get to the truth of it, and I would imagine its not that much different for most everyone else, but it caused me a good deal of shame to realize that what I wanted was to be special, be better. Yes, better than everyone else. It sounds just awful to say it out loud, but it is true. I am sure sometimes even you feel that way don’t you? I can tell you that the second I admitted that I felt that way, I felt another shift in my brain. I was able to release that desire to be better than anyone, and get even deeper into the understanding that I am exactly the same as you. As everyone else. EXACTLY. Maybe we are on different paths, or on different parts of our journey but we are the same none the less. Figuring this out allowed me to open up in a new way to loving myself and accepting myself. It felt, like I was flying, that I had allowed me to enter into a space where I can be better, better than the me I was before. That is the only better that will ever make a difference, it’s the only better any of us can ever be. It can be difficult to look at your motivations honestly but doing so is the heart of this work, and I am grateful for every opportunity to become more.

     I have mentioned to you a couple times now how I am feeling my brain move, or change, or something. I am not sure what that brain feeling is, but I do love it. I have thought about it though. Is it a new brain pathway forming? Is it me settling into myself more? Is it my thoughts expanding? I don’t know. It just sort of feels like a shifting more than anything else. I only know it means I am changing. I know it means I am growing and that is enough for me. When I wonder about that too much I totally hear Hale saying, “Are you trying to figure it out?” That makes me smile, and I remember to let go trying figure it out. I can I hear his voice a lot these days and every time I do it gently reminds me to be good to myself and remember that I have spent a really long time learning to live an awful stunted life. Changing that will take the rest of my days. I am quite excited.

     Reader before I go and get back to the job at hand I want to take a moment and Thank You. Your comments, tweets, emails, & facebook messages have been beyond amazing. Your love and support and encouragement are such a fantastic surprise and reflection of the law of attraction for me and I hope that in some way I am able to give that back to you. I hope you always remember to be nice to yourself Reader, I have learned how destructive it is to be mean to yourself, and if you take anything away from my blog I hope it is to show yourself loving respect. I am so grateful for you, and I love you so much. Sharing my road with you is my passion, and I am so happy to have you on the journey. Never hesitate to contact me. I love to hear from you and read and respond to everything I get.

Thanks xoxo
Jammy

Going through some real changes.

     Hello again Reader, thanks for stopping by. I am officially half way through the cds of The Sedona Method, which puts me at the end of the Effortless Wealth and Success part of the program. I will be starting on relationships next, I am thinking tomorrow. I had some amazing things happen to me last night and frankly I want to share a bit with you, release some more, and just enjoy where I am now.

     Thursday I listened to CD nine, which was very much in the same vein as the previous Wealth cds, continuing to take things deeper with each cd, each release. It was very much centered around making goals, making sub goals and releasing on the inner core reason that you want the goal, whatever that goal is. This cd got very much into the holistic way of releasing where you go back and forth on an issue, such as releasing on scarcity then on the opposite which would be abundance. Each release getting closer and closer to the basic question, would you rather want, or have. There was also some releasing on needing to be do or have something to be complete, and on not wanting to be where you are. Accepting that you are complete, whole and perfect in this moment, in this place. 

     Then last night I got started with cds 10 and 11, the last two left in the money cds, & I admit to thinking "I will bang these two out..." and to a degree I supposed that is correct if you are measuring in time. I am not, I cant. I have never in my life experienced anything like what happened to me last night. I have never felt so free or so grateful.

     At the beginning of cd 10 Hale guides you in some advantage/disadvantage releasing. Which is very much what you would think it is, with the exception that you aren't making a list so much as just going back and forth like other holistic releases. Hale even points out that if you don't feel anything on one side or another then just release on that too. I was releasing on several things for this really, writing a book, my blog, my readers, money. This process is great for a lot of things like making decisions, clearing up your goals, and letting go of your problems (or your perception of problems). It is also really important that you phrase your problems in the past tense and your decisions or goals in the present tense, because it is all about putting yourself in the space of having not wanting. At this point that was still only a concept in my mind, but I felt something nagging. I had been telling my brain and asking God to push my thought process over that proverbial speed bump, and it felt like I was getting close to something.

     Around this point Hale led his group through a release on being hard on yourself, and I felt my throat start to tighten. I have been giving myself a hard time about this work because it hasn't been harder. So hearing Hale talk about that was one more time where it was like he was reading my mind. It was perfect timing. He takes you from here straight into some releasing on wanting to be right. Just writing about this, my face gets a tiny bit hot thinking how strong my feelings of wanting to be right were as we did the release. As you let go of wanting to be right or the opposite of that, he tells you to be open to a solution beyond right or wrong and it was like inside me I could see a spotlight snap on in the distance and in that spot light is the real true unmasked me. I literally started shaking it was so clear, so real. I could tell that in that spot light was the space of having and when I step into that I will want no more. I knew I was getting closer to something... something real.

     Then it was time for cd 11, Hale is talking to his group at the start of this cd and he asks the group to shout out to him negative beliefs they have about money. Its time to do a Beliefs Process. Hale has mentioned this a couple times but we haven't don't it yet so I got a bit excited. Maybe it was a premonition? A beliefs process is just exactly what it sounds like. You release on a negative belief you have, in this case about money. For me those beliefs are similar to what most people yelled out, I don't deserve it, makes me greedy to want it, selfish, there isn't enough, would make me happy, gives security. So we started to release. This is where I started to change.

     At first it seemed pretty much like any other releasing, I was feeling the emotions and the beliefs start to float away from me, Hale was just leading release after release and I remember I thought "I am not lucky" at some point, and started to release on that. As I did that, I felt something move in my head. I don't mean I felt myself have a thought or something. I mean I felt something shift in my brain. I felt the processes of how I think change. I shifted the release a bit to security since my want for money stems from that mostly, and I just kept releasing on wanting to be secure, and all of a sudden I could see myself in a box. Outside living in a box. I was smiling I was happy and doing small domestic things in this vision. I was secure and happy and safe... in a box. I felt my brain move again, and I started to laugh and cry at the same time. I knew that security came from me not money. I knew I enjoyed my apartment more than a box, because it is more comfortable, but it didn't make me secure anymore than the box did. It wasn't the source of my joy anymore than the box was. I am my security. I am my happiness, and with every release a new awareness came over me and I knew that I had just stepped out of wanting, and into the spotlight of having.

     From here the rest of the cd was like a fog to me, I kept feeling myself expand with every release we did and as we got near the end and started to work on action steps and releasing on taking action to reach our goals, something that would have not too long ago terrified me I just had this still, peaceful feeling in my heart and brain that I can't ever remember feeling before that. I just kept writing down goals and ways to reach them and it wasn't like I was trying to think of anything, it was just there already. I already have it. I only need to open up and receive it.

     If you are struggling in a space of wanting, and I can tell you I lived there for a long time, that place is only in your head. You are in control and you can change the way you think. I can say that for certain. Just stay open inside and keep letting go. You will get there. We will get there together, Reader. I am so happy and grateful that you are along for the ride.
Jammy

A Law of Attraction Poem

     As I sit this morning drinking my coffee, enjoying the start of my day and allowing my mind to wander where it will, it strikes me as particularly funny how my brain is trying so hard maintain its old ways of thinking. It seriously makes me chuckle to think how cute my brain is, struggling so hard. I wrote this poem, enjoy.

                         ~~~
I am so grateful today.
My gifts are go grand
I open inside
And find the world in my hand
My joy in life is fresh and new
My eyes are open
I am done feeling blue
Thank you God for showing me my wings.
Thank you for my wealth, and all that brings.
                           ~~~

Thank you Reader, I love you
Jammy

Can't get the Law of Attraction working for you?

     I think that too many people have the impression that the Law of Attraction is like having a magic wand, and when they realize that is not the case they give up. That could have very well happened to me. When I first watched the movie The Secret, I was certain that was all the information I needed to be the person I was meant to be. The thing about that thinking is that all though I was happy on the surface, all the things that I had collected over the years that obscure the me that is always present, always whole, was still there. All I was really doing at that point was putting a happy face on my sadness. If I had not kept searching for more than the message of the movie I would still be stuck in my old ways of thinking wondering why the law didn't work for me, or why I couldn't get it right.

     It was really only a few weeks after watching the movie the first time that I started to question that maybe the message of this movie, the words of all these teachers was not all I needed to know. The thing about the movie that always bothered me is that it doesn't really talk about how to get to those good feelings where you can manifest good things. It says feel good do things that make you feel good, okay that is fine but what are those things. Most of us cant spend unlimited amounts of time and money on feeling good all the time, and even if we could it seems unlikely it would make you feel loving toward yourself all the time. I needed a how to! So I went back to God and asked for a way to LIVE the secret. A flood of information came to me, The Zeitgeist Movement, The Venus Project, Try it on Everything (The Tapping Solution), Magnus' Tapping.com, and most recently The Sedona Method.

     I am still working on the Sedona Method and I still use Magnus' tapping as well, particularly the chakra clearing. I find the SM to be the most effective for me to rid myself of unwanted emotions, beliefs, and everything else I do to hold myself back. I just finished up on the 8th and 9th cds which are still in the part of the method concerning effortless wealth and success, and I still find myself going deeper than I ever thought I could inside. I find that as soon as I welcome the emotion I have chosen to work on in that release it starts to dissipate before I even start to let go consciously. The next part of the program deals with relationships and I am looking forward to that, I am hoping it will take me even deeper into myself than I have gotten to so far. It is a very different experience for me not being afraid of my emotions, not to deny my power.

     All of these stops on the road I am traveling have had their affect on me. All of them have pointed me in this direction on my journey, a direction that I would have never found on my own, if I hadn't asked. All of these tools have come to me through the law of attraction, as have you Reader. I am grateful for the tools I have found to release the energy of old and unwanted emotions and the limiting thinking, that have held me back my entire life. I am grateful for you. The energy you bring to this page infects me. The love I send out to you through these words are reflected back to me a million times. Every step you have taken has led you to this moment, to this blog, to this connection with me. If you haven't found the tools you need for the life of your dreams , maybe the tools I have found will help you, maybe not. What I do know is that if you ask for the answer, it will be given to you, as long as you are open to receive it. Reader as always, I am so happy you stopped by,

Thanks for riding along
Jammy.

Straight to the core.

     Hello Reader, that's right. It's time once again for a trip to Sedona with me, Jammy. This time around we visited the cd numbered 7, which is where we start to transition a bit from just releasing emotions and heading into making and releasing on goals. We also learn a new word coined by Lester, (the founder of SM) hootlessness. Hootlessness? Yes. We will get there I promise.

     What I love about cd seven is it stays with the work we just finished in the previous cds where you are getting to the root of a problem, or in this case a want/goal you have. Again like with the previous work what you end up getting down to with any problem, goal, want, is the same basic needs. Again those are, control, security, approval, and oneness (or separate for the opposite).

     What you are basically doing in this part of the method is identifying what it is you want, what that goal is, and then you write it down in the present tense. Read that to yourself and then welcome the first thing that comes to you. Identify it, which of the four is it? Welcome that and then release that (don't forget to come from both sides) and read your goal again. Keep doing it over and over till you get to the next stage which is courageousness, acceptance, or peace. Then as much as you don't want to, release that too. I know its still hard for me too. At the core of all that is where we get to "hootlessness" this is the space where you are best able to create whatever you want. From a place of happiness with or without something is the best place to receive it.

     Most programs will teach you the exact opposite of this but the law of attraction teaches us that the desperate wanting is damaging to the body mind connection. You cant create something you are holding tight with desperation. It must be released to give it strength.

     I have to say I really didn't want to share with you the first thing I wrote down to release on. I think that was a control thing so what I have decided is to go ahead and share. It is actually what I want and by holding it and not being honest about it is just another way of not releasing, and its only one of the things I wrote, so here goes. In cd 7 Hale says to write down something, a goal, or something you want. I want to win the lottery. I want to win a big one. Its not really a goal so much as something I want and it is financial and so I figured it kinda fit with the money cd and so I wrote this. I am grateful now that I have allowed myself to receive an insanely huge amount of money. The two things I felt the most were control and security with this one. but I admit to wanting to have approval and oneness as well. Which kind of surprised me. The approval was almost instantly when I thought of sharing here too. I didn't want to be judged for wanting to win the lottery. Really? As I thought that I realized how true, and how silly it was all at once. If people didn't want to win the lottery it wouldn't be still going. Hale even used someone releasing on receiving a large sum of money and then getting one, as an example so its not like no one did it before. The biggie to this one of course was security. I want security and what I ended up releasing on mostly was that. I still am a bit, actually, but I have to admit with every passing minute I can feel myself expanding, and as I do those feelings have less places to hold on to. It feels really good.

     If you have a goal you are working on Reader, one that you have held tight to you, maybe even kept secret? Try to release it instead. Let it go and see if you can' t manifest something fantastic. As always you can find more information on the Sedona Method Here, and as always Reader,

Thanks for riding along,
Jammy,

Back in Sedona using the Method.

     Hello again Reader. Thanks for stopping by, I love it when you do. I spent my weekend with Hale from SM coming out of my speakers, in the form of cds five and six. I usually only listen to one before I post a blog but cd 5 was so similar to 4 that I flowed right into six, it just felt like they all fit together.

     The work on both the cds really centers around four main points, recognizing them and letting them go. They are, wanting control, approval, security, and wanting to be one (or separate). At the core, the root of all that you desire in your life, you will find one of these four things. Like the work in cd 4 you also examine these core issues from both sides. So if you are working on control then you are dealing with the desire to control and be controlled. When we were releasing on control it was kind of hard for me to admit to myself that what I really wanted the most was to be controlled, taken care of, but once I did the need for it seemed to almost float away from me. Since then a few moments have manifested where I guess I needed to test myself? I don’t know but I left my lights on in my car and it wouldn’t start. Something like that would have in the past brought on a panic attack or at least anxiety. I got irritated but I just opened inside (like Hale says) and I remember thinking the next person I see will help me. Sure enough, he did. Ten minutes later I was on my way home. Smiling. I also have a broken computer. That would have normally had me freaking out, instead I just put my intentions out for a way to solve it and borrowed my friends computer in the mean time. Its true that your feelings affect how you react and how you function. I am functioning better everyday.
While I was listening to Hale talk about control, all of a sudden I could see all of us, humans, and we were floating on the earth like it’s a bubble. Some of us were just flowing with the currents in the surface of the bubble but some of us were just stuck in one place thrashing and fighting trying so hard to control the flow of the whole bubble. So busy thinking that their fruitless efforts mattered or made a difference, that they couldn’t even see they are the ones ruining the bubble for everyone. I felt a little silly to realize how much I am one of the ones thrashing around.

     The two wants I am struggling with the most in my life are approval and security. Even just writing that, gave me a tight feeling in my throat which means I have more releasing to do. I have done a lot of creating situations where I am either not feeling secure or I am being disapproved of. I think recognition on this one is half the battle for me, because even though my throat is a bit tight right now, it doesn’t compare to how strongly I have felt those wants before. Every time I ever thought about why I wanted a lot of money it was “so I never have to worry again.” I do seemed to have attracted to me the opposite of what I want so that the cd also focuses on wanting both sides is crucial for me here. I am glad to be conscious of the ways that I am creating this scenario so I am able to change it.

     Approval I am searching for, everywhere. It is getting easier everyday though to recognize that and release it. Some of the places that it is easy to get caught up in that are, Twitter, why did they stop following me? Or My Blog, Why did I not get more hits or comments? But just like struggling for security or control, by approving, or accepting myself I create the space where I am approved. The opposite of that though is what I have manifested most in the past, I can see now by stepping back a bit how I while wanting approval did the things that brought disapproval instead so it is important for me to release on both sides of that issue just like the others.

     Today I was talking to a friend about twitter and how some people just talk on twitter and some just advertise, and that I like to follow the ones who talk because the ones who just advertise have a manipulative energy. The second I said that I felt the energy in me shift. I felt my motivations shift. I felt a new level of tension leave my body. I started to become aware of many of the ways that I am manipulative. I am thankful for this opportunity to grow, its easy for my brain to try and slip back into old habits but becoming aware of it has made it easy for me to stop it when it starts to happen. 
     Reader, if you find yourself similarly stuck in an old way of thinking remember that you can easily release that by opening inside and examining the feeling and letting it go. Keep in mind emotions are not you and as a separate thing from you can be dismissed if you so desire.  If you are interested in this method you can get more information here, Sedona Method and as always Reader,

Thanks for riding along
Jammy

Last minute thoughts before I get back to Sedona.

     As I sit down today to listen to the next SM cd I felt restless and it occurred to me that maybe I had a few things I needed to get out of me a bit before I could move on. The LoA has tried to make itself known to me many times before. A couple of times I started to grasp it but most of the things you read about it are more the end result and less a how to on getting there, and I needed more tools to help me find the place that inside me that these people had found inside themselves. Frankly it made me feel like I was too stupid to get it, or not blessed by God enough to be gifted with it. Honestly I think that a lot of the people who write these types of books do so from a place of look at how awesome I am instead of look at how awesome you can be, here let me show you how. That is what I like so much about Joe Vitale, Bob Proctor, and Hale Dwoskin, they don’t point at themselves and say look at my greatness. They look at you and say here is your greatness. Take it. I feel like I am still taking baby steps on this path I have stepped on called self acceptance, but I am taking them. I keep reminding myself to congratulate the small steps as well as the big ones. I have to stop being so mad at myself for taking so long to find this path.

  
     All this time I have been searching, searching for something that once added to me would then make me whole and complete, when the exact opposite process of elimination of those things that aren’t me has been the right road to take the whole time. Not a diminishing but a removing. I have started to picture myself inside like a beautiful red rose, that has started to bloom. The rose keeps opening and opening, it never stops, and as the old petals drop way, the petals that don’t belong, a beautiful light deep in the center is slowly uncovered. Each petal that opens and eventually drops away is one more limiting belief that I am letting go, and the light is the true me deep inside. Each shaft of light that is revealed by the blooming is another aspect of me that has been pushed down, stunted, buried. Some of that was done by others and some by me. The tools I am using now to do this work come from many sources. But the work is mine. I am doing it. I am growing this beautiful garden of me. I am letting myself reach for the sun, and when I resist it I remember what I learned on SM resistance cd and release it and I try to remember to always thank God for another opportunity to grow and release my inner light. And to always be easy with myself.

    
     I was in the shower the other day, it was right after I got Joe’s book and joined the group on Facebook that started up around it. I was channeling this crazy, crazy energy and I all of a sudden I had this inspiration, and I opened my arms lifted my face and said, “God take my energy!” I kept saying it over and over, and the most amazing thing happened. I could feel my energy whoosh out of me and as it happened I realized that as fast as it was flowing from me it was also coming to me just as fast and just as strong, hell if I am totally honest it was way more. It was then that it became crystal clear to me that my energy is God’s energy. That what I give to him I receive back. It was the clearest most joyful moment I have ever experienced in my life. Every day I think I get a tiny bit closer to living like that every day.
    
     Before I go, in Joe’s book at the end of the chapters for each of the steps he gave us action steps to take. I wanted to share mine with you for the first step.

1 Limiting Beliefs About Money	2 Opposite of Those Beliefs
I haven’t earned it	Who Says?
I am meant to be poor	I am meant to be what I want
I am not lucky	I create my life

　
3. Other beliefs that keep me down, are that I am lazy, forgetful, and not as good as everyone else, the opposite of those things is that my attitude gives me energy, I remember everything I need to and I am just as awesome as I want to be. I get better everyday at trusting myself and the greater good that guides us all. I am so grateful to have been given the tools I need to create the life I deserve and desire. I am going to do everything in my power to be everything that I can and help as many people do the same as God will let me touch. Just the thought of it humbles me.

Thanks Reader for taking this ride with me,
Jammy

Review of Dr Joe Vitale's book Attract Money Now.

     As mentioned in my previous posting, I was recently gifted by Dr Joe Vitale his book Attract Money Now, and I would like to take a few moments here to tell you about it. First I enjoyed the book, Joe has a great writing voice and its enjoyable to read him.

     What I enjoy about Joe’s book is that although its primary goal is to help you get some cash. The real focus is get some cash so that you can live a better life and contribute to the world in a more profound way, and Joe doesn’t just tell you to “think positive”, he gives you clearly defined steps that anyone can take today to change the way they see themselves, and money in general. Because as he points out repeatedly in the book money is a mind set, and until you change your thought process about money you will always struggle with it. Isn’t that true about everything? Really, ask yourself the things you do well, do you do them with confidence or fear? Anything you back up with fear will only bring more of the same and that is true with money as it is with everything else.

     How many people are there that got rich quick and lost it just as fast? I imagine if you think about it you know someone, or of someone who did just that. Its simply that they didn’t have the correct mindset to keep it. The thing I am learning more an more, and is beautifully illustrated in this book, is that life has a flow to it, you aren’t a receptacle you are a channel. As soon as you try to hold on to something it disappears. This book can help you learn to step into that flow. Regardless of what you want from it. Money is just one of the options, and since we all got to eat and food costs money why not learn now to attract more of it to you.

     The best thing about the book to me is how much he reminds you that love, gratitude, and generosity are the keys to real wealth. There is not one selfish thing in this book so if you are rubbing your hands together thinking that Joe is about to teach you how to take what you want you are looking in the wrong place. This book is a how to on getting right with yourself and the world. If you are open to its message it can be a wonderful resource to you.
Thanks Jammy

Link to the free ebook at bottom of page with the rest of my teachers links. Enjoy

This Amazing Energy

     So my intention when I listed to the forth cd of SM had been to make some notes maybe write up a bit of a post and move on to cd five. Well, that didn’t happen. After I finished the cd, and I finished jotting down my initial thoughts i just sort of sat back and let the info gel a little. I had released like mad on my resistance, and I just kept going with it for a while. I was really in a flow and I wanted to keep it going. After a while though I started to think about resistance in general, and how so many things pretty basically boil down to resistance at their core. So many things were just flowing thru my mind, ways that I was resisting by trying to change or figure out what is instead of just opening and allowing everything, including me, to just be. This cd was really powerful for me, and I could feel the power of its message moving in me on a very deep level, a level of myself that maybe I haven’t spoken to in a while, if ever. I could really feel the flow start to move thru me as I did this work.

     When I decided to take a break from the cds and writing, I went to check emails, facebook etc. and I had been invited by Joe Vitale to read for free one of his books about how to attract wealth called Attract Money Now. Link below with the other teacher’s links of course. Joe is one of my favorite teachers from the movie The Secret, so you know I was super excited to see his email., and was signing up for that free ebook as quick as my browser would open the page. Not long after getting the link and sinking into what I anticipated to be a good book, I got an invite to a group that one of Joe’s readers/fans started for people who are reading the book and using the steps to create wealth. Now before you get all crazy on me and say Hey Jammy I thought you were all about self discovery and not money. Let me say this. Wealth is not just money, but yes money is a part of it, just like a wealthy life has lots of friends and love and health. Now I am no different than you, or anyone else. I eat, I need to drink, I need to be warm. In the system we live in now you have to have money to get those things. So I need money. Just like you. Money doesn’t make me important. I doesn’t make me loveable. It doesn’t make me happy. I do really enjoy being well fed, warm, and well hydrated. So having said that lets all agree we need money. Its just the reality of the situation. So this group formed and we all started to gather. We ATTRACTED each other. There is just no other way to explain it. The energy of this group, 1300 strong in a couple of days, is simply infectious. In my previous blog I mentioned that I woke up so happy that I started to laugh. That doesn’t even compare to the way I felt when I ended my day after manifesting in my life this amazing group. The book its self was a gift I will be grateful for all my days, this group is like a bonus Christmas morning to a 5 year old.

     It was only just a day or two ago I was thinking about my blog and how I wanted to increase the amount of people I was able to expose it too, I remember thinking about it and welcoming all the thoughts and feelings that surrounded it and releasing it. The energy that came back to me, thru this group, was more than I had even anticipated. I am still taking in all of the ways that I manifested from this releasing. The links on the groups page, the ideas that have generated in me, the increased traffic to this page, are all still coming at me like a jet stream, and I am more clear, more calm, and more presently involved in my experiences than any time in my life. I am so happy and grateful now that I am actively manifesting positive things, people and experiences into my life. I can feel the momentum building. How about you?

Thanks for riding along,
Jammy

Before I forget. I am only half way thru the book I am taking notes and will give you a full report soon! I promise.

This is the teaching of The Secret in a nutshell!

Resistance is futile.

     I woke up this morning so filled with peace I started laughing almost the second I woke up. Seriously one of the best waking up moments I have ever experienced. My wake ups are getting better with every one that occurs. My former experiences with the start of the day, with rare exceptions, have not been so pleasant. I used to wake up with fear, no, panic rising in my throat like bile. My body would tense up to the point of pain, tears would sting my eyes. My thoughts? They were simply desperate. NO, I don’t want to be awake! No I don’t want to be on this planet! I would ball up against those feelings with everything that I am. I would focus on making them leave me. The difference between then and now is so startlingly dramatic it takes my breath away to make the comparison. Since the day, almost three months ago, that I opened myself up and asked God/Source Energy/The Universe (your choice what you call it) to help me all that has come to me has been working toward this moment. The day after I made that cry my daughter told me to watch a movie. The next day I watched the movie The Secret, from there my journey has taken me so many places. Places I had no idea existed inside me, or anywhere else in this universe for that matter. Since I watched that movie for the first time, I have attracted many things into my life and one of the most important ones is The Sedona Method. If you have been reading my blog you know I have been working the method (link above!), I listened to cd 4 yesterday. It is all about letting go of your resistance. I am positive the way I feel today is a direct result of listening to that cd and the resistance I was able to let go of because of it. So Amazing how good this feels, I anticipate that I will feel even better as I continue to work this program, but right this second, its hard to imagine that I could possibly feel better than this.
    
     So like I mentioned above, cd #4 of the SM is all about that pesky little thing called resistance. The funniest thing I realized during the listening of this cd is the extent to which I was resistant to … I guess everything. Hale starts off by explaining that resistance is basically a glue and its holding all of your negative beliefs and feelings together, binding them into something much more intense. That the very act of resistance makes us much more controllable by any outside source. Its easy to seem like you are in fact the one in control when you aren’t. You can think by resisting your emotions you are controlling them when the actuality of the situation is that if you were in control you wouldn’t be working so damn hard. It is a lot of work to keep things buried. Its effortless to release.

     As I listened to Hale I realized that my constant worrying was in effect a resistance. That everything I worried about messing up I ended up screwing up in one way or another. Just the act of focusing on something with resistance takes your power and joy away from what you are doing, no matter what that might be. When we started to release on resistance he asked to focus inside about something that you are worried about or want to manifest. My very first thought is about money, and really this is for a couple of reasons. First because, well, I want some, and second because during this journey I have started to learn a bit about our financial system. Finding out that money is essentially fake makes it a tiny bit hard for me to wish for it, but the reality of life right now is that I am stuck in this system until we can make a change, so I need to get some money. So I focused inside and started to release. Now the interesting thing about the resistance releasing is that you come at it from both sides. Letting go of the resistance to having it as well as not having it, what ever that it is for you.


     What happened next was the most amazing evidence of this method working to bring about what you want it staggered me a little. Not long into my starting to release my neighbors began to be really noisy and I was having a hard time relaxing, one of my neighbors was having a sidewalk sale and so many people who live here in the complex were gathered around in the driveway of the apartments and out on the sidewalk. My first immediate reaction was to tense up and I thought, “Damn it just as I was getting started.” I kid you not, the second that thought (feeling) left me the noise outside burst into a cacophony. I sat there for a second, then all of a sudden it came to me. I thanked God for the opportunity to do something different and I just opened. I welcomed the irritation and desire to be in a quieter place I was feeling, then I just let it go. I looked at the other side for any resistance I had to it being more quiet and let that go too. Almost immediately upon finishing this release the group outside moved around to the front of the building and quieted. I don’t mean a little, I mean I could barely hear them at all. Blew me away.

     Hale was talking about how we cant forget to appreciate the progress we make no matter if it is a huge break thru or a tiny step, he said something that really got me, “There is a momentum to the way you have been living.” As soon as he said that I could picture (don’t ask me why) a train, that train is barreling toward these huge rubber bands extended between poles on either side of the tracks. Twenty of them to be exact, that’s how many cds there are imagine that. As the train begins to hit these bands it slows down, and when it reaches the last one the bands spring up launching it up into space as it transforms into a spaceship soaring higher and higher and higher. There are no limits.

Thank for riding Reader!
Jammy

I was nice to me today.

    I keep surprising myself this week, by the way I keep smiling for no reason, and by the things I am saying to myself, and not like you might think. I know if you have paid even the tiniest bit of attention to what I write here you know that my normal tone of voice with myself is less than… kind. This week though I have really noticed the tendency to do that fading and a new habit emerging. Earlier this week I recall I started to really slide back a bit in my thinking and I started to berate myself for it just a bit, my normal reaction. Then I all of a sudden I thought to myself, well that’s interesting and I just let it go. I sort of mentally patted myself on the head and said “Getting better at that aren’t ya girly.” I actually broke into laughter at the thought of speaking to myself that way. It was at once odd and familiar. Today I was making myself a salad and I was reflecting on my usual ways of thinking and how they are fading in me and I had a flash of panic like my brain was giving one last fighting try to get back to what it knows best, and I thought “That’s the old way baby doll.” Wait… what? Baby doll? Okay first I never call myself anything but my name or well unkind words like bitch. So the fact that I just used a term of endearment with myself, not to mention such an odd one, totally floored me. So much so that I burst out laughing at myself. I shook my head and finished making my lunch, but I am sure you can see what I mean here. These are things that wouldn’t have occurred in my life ever before I started this journey are becoming habits to me now. After the nearly year and a half of staggering depression I am finally coming out of (and I hope with these new tools am getting closer to being done with for good) these thoughts are the most breath taking glimpses of what is only just now being uncovered in me. I know I am beginning my life in a way that I had never anticipated could be possible.
     Today on Twitter a new follower of mine referred to what I am doing as work… Work! I was moved to tears that what I am doing was recognized as my work. I know I haven’t made a shit ton of money at it yet but it’s the most important thing I have ever done in my life. It is my work. I am so grateful to be doing it. I will admit that I haven’t been the most ambitious person in my work, or any other area of my life for that matter. I have worked hard no doubt but I was always complacent to do just what I needed to do to survive. No more. I didn’t aspire to anything, and if I dared to even look up from my place I chastised myself back down, out of fear mostly I think, you cant make a mistake if you don’t try now can you. Since I have begun to release I have started to understand that my work isn’t just what I get paid for. Its so much more and what I am doing here, this work this self discovery, this blog, the book I will make out of it. It feels more real to me than any burger I ever served or register I rang or phone I answered or customer I served. Maybe I will make a million dollars and maybe I will make a million people point and laugh, I don’t know, but I do know that it wont matter. I will make the most of what ever happens, and keep smiling for absolutely no reason.

Thanks for riding along,
Jammy