What you are the world is. And without your transformation, there can be no transformation of the world. ♥ J. Krishnamurti
ஜ۩۞۩ஜ
Hello Reader, had a pretty fantastic day today, and that is considering that I still don’t have a working computer, Thank God for a sweet friend or I would be writing long hand, and I wouldn’t be posting much for you. However, not having the distraction of my computer has left a bit more time for me to explore meditation so maybe the universe had something in mind, in addition to manifesting another computer. Hmmm. Well in any case. I have not had the same deep incredible experience like I did the first time I accidentally did it. I think I am just trying to hard to repeat that experience. I have done a bit of searching and I found a few good videos on youtube and am really utilizing them but I am going to start looking around for some DVDs and books. The main thing is that I am enjoying it and I am with each attempt at it getting deeper and more still. Also the more I do it the more I am interested in it and want to learn more about types of meditation as well as the history of it. Please leave me a comment if you have any advice or recommendations.
I also had a bit of a realization today (and you know I love those), when I am releasing I am usually very visual. I have many little images that come to mind when I am letting something go. A flower blooming, a hand, door, or window opening, the Red Man throwing thoughts out of my brain (I love that image) or one of my favorites which comes from something Hale Dwoskin says a lot in Sedonathru me but I am facing the flow and it is flowing out behind me. I realized today I had that backwards. I kept noticing this tension in my throat, not my neck, my throat like a choking feeling. I kept trying to meditate because I thought it was my chakras out of alignment, and that is probably true to a certain extent, but that wasn’t it, it was the flow. I was trying to keep the flow of goodness inside me instead of letting it flow thru me. When that thought hit me I had this vision, I saw energy as light flowing to me but from behind me actually propelling me forward as it flowed through me (pushed me). As it flowed it lit my entire being and then burst out of me in all these tiny brilliantly colored rays of light that then shone out and away from me and into the world and the universe permeating everything and everyone. Instantly my throat relaxed and I became the energy outlet that I needed to be.
If there is one thing that I would want you to take away from my blog about visualizations Reader, its this; They are fun, and they are powerful, but with out emotion and action backing them up they aren’t much more than nice little movies in your head. You will never get anything from them but frustration and confusion. You will never understand that you are in control of your life until you take control. Please always keep in mind that you are a conduit, not a receptacle, for the flow of energy in this universe, and if you remember that one important thing, you allow possibility into your life. I promise you it feels wonderful.
One last word before I go Reader, the people, things and energy that flow into your life will sometimes stay and sometimes they will only visit, but that is only you doing the job the universe needs you to do. Open to it. What you do for yourself you do for everyone.
Thanks for riding along,
Jammy
This is about you growing you. It is about you becoming more yourself. It is about you opening yourself up and receiving the Largess of the Kingdom… The Largess of the realm of ever expanding good otherwise know as Heaven… And having all of your needs met. ~ Micheal Beckwith
Showing posts with label humanity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humanity. Show all posts
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Back in Sedona using the Method.
Hello again Reader. Thanks for stopping by, I love it when you do. I spent my weekend with Hale from SM coming out of my speakers, in the form of cds five and six. I usually only listen to one before I post a blog but cd 5 was so similar to 4 that I flowed right into six, it just felt like they all fit together.
The work on both the cds really centers around four main points, recognizing them and letting them go. They are, wanting control, approval, security, and wanting to be one (or separate). At the core, the root of all that you desire in your life, you will find one of these four things. Like the work in cd 4 you also examine these core issues from both sides. So if you are working on control then you are dealing with the desire to control and be controlled. When we were releasing on control it was kind of hard for me to admit to myself that what I really wanted the most was to be controlled, taken care of, but once I did the need for it seemed to almost float away from me. Since then a few moments have manifested where I guess I needed to test myself? I don’t know but I left my lights on in my car and it wouldn’t start. Something like that would have in the past brought on a panic attack or at least anxiety. I got irritated but I just opened inside (like Hale says) and I remember thinking the next person I see will help me. Sure enough, he did. Ten minutes later I was on my way home. Smiling. I also have a broken computer. That would have normally had me freaking out, instead I just put my intentions out for a way to solve it and borrowed my friends computer in the mean time. Its true that your feelings affect how you react and how you function. I am functioning better everyday.
While I was listening to Hale talk about control, all of a sudden I could see all of us, humans, and we were floating on the earth like it’s a bubble. Some of us were just flowing with the currents in the surface of the bubble but some of us were just stuck in one place thrashing and fighting trying so hard to control the flow of the whole bubble. So busy thinking that their fruitless efforts mattered or made a difference, that they couldn’t even see they are the ones ruining the bubble for everyone. I felt a little silly to realize how much I am one of the ones thrashing around.
The two wants I am struggling with the most in my life are approval and security. Even just writing that, gave me a tight feeling in my throat which means I have more releasing to do. I have done a lot of creating situations where I am either not feeling secure or I am being disapproved of. I think recognition on this one is half the battle for me, because even though my throat is a bit tight right now, it doesn’t compare to how strongly I have felt those wants before. Every time I ever thought about why I wanted a lot of money it was “so I never have to worry again.” I do seemed to have attracted to me the opposite of what I want so that the cd also focuses on wanting both sides is crucial for me here. I am glad to be conscious of the ways that I am creating this scenario so I am able to change it.
Approval I am searching for, everywhere. It is getting easier everyday though to recognize that and release it. Some of the places that it is easy to get caught up in that are, Twitter, why did they stop following me? Or My Blog, Why did I not get more hits or comments? But just like struggling for security or control, by approving, or accepting myself I create the space where I am approved. The opposite of that though is what I have manifested most in the past, I can see now by stepping back a bit how I while wanting approval did the things that brought disapproval instead so it is important for me to release on both sides of that issue just like the others.
Today I was talking to a friend about twitter and how some people just talk on twitter and some just advertise, and that I like to follow the ones who talk because the ones who just advertise have a manipulative energy. The second I said that I felt the energy in me shift. I felt my motivations shift. I felt a new level of tension leave my body. I started to become aware of many of the ways that I am manipulative. I am thankful for this opportunity to grow, its easy for my brain to try and slip back into old habits but becoming aware of it has made it easy for me to stop it when it starts to happen.
Reader, if you find yourself similarly stuck in an old way of thinking remember that you can easily release that by opening inside and examining the feeling and letting it go. Keep in mind emotions are not you and as a separate thing from you can be dismissed if you so desire. If you are interested in this method you can get more information here, Sedona Method and as always Reader,
Thanks for riding along
Jammy
The work on both the cds really centers around four main points, recognizing them and letting them go. They are, wanting control, approval, security, and wanting to be one (or separate). At the core, the root of all that you desire in your life, you will find one of these four things. Like the work in cd 4 you also examine these core issues from both sides. So if you are working on control then you are dealing with the desire to control and be controlled. When we were releasing on control it was kind of hard for me to admit to myself that what I really wanted the most was to be controlled, taken care of, but once I did the need for it seemed to almost float away from me. Since then a few moments have manifested where I guess I needed to test myself? I don’t know but I left my lights on in my car and it wouldn’t start. Something like that would have in the past brought on a panic attack or at least anxiety. I got irritated but I just opened inside (like Hale says) and I remember thinking the next person I see will help me. Sure enough, he did. Ten minutes later I was on my way home. Smiling. I also have a broken computer. That would have normally had me freaking out, instead I just put my intentions out for a way to solve it and borrowed my friends computer in the mean time. Its true that your feelings affect how you react and how you function. I am functioning better everyday.
While I was listening to Hale talk about control, all of a sudden I could see all of us, humans, and we were floating on the earth like it’s a bubble. Some of us were just flowing with the currents in the surface of the bubble but some of us were just stuck in one place thrashing and fighting trying so hard to control the flow of the whole bubble. So busy thinking that their fruitless efforts mattered or made a difference, that they couldn’t even see they are the ones ruining the bubble for everyone. I felt a little silly to realize how much I am one of the ones thrashing around.
The two wants I am struggling with the most in my life are approval and security. Even just writing that, gave me a tight feeling in my throat which means I have more releasing to do. I have done a lot of creating situations where I am either not feeling secure or I am being disapproved of. I think recognition on this one is half the battle for me, because even though my throat is a bit tight right now, it doesn’t compare to how strongly I have felt those wants before. Every time I ever thought about why I wanted a lot of money it was “so I never have to worry again.” I do seemed to have attracted to me the opposite of what I want so that the cd also focuses on wanting both sides is crucial for me here. I am glad to be conscious of the ways that I am creating this scenario so I am able to change it.
Approval I am searching for, everywhere. It is getting easier everyday though to recognize that and release it. Some of the places that it is easy to get caught up in that are, Twitter, why did they stop following me? Or My Blog, Why did I not get more hits or comments? But just like struggling for security or control, by approving, or accepting myself I create the space where I am approved. The opposite of that though is what I have manifested most in the past, I can see now by stepping back a bit how I while wanting approval did the things that brought disapproval instead so it is important for me to release on both sides of that issue just like the others.
Today I was talking to a friend about twitter and how some people just talk on twitter and some just advertise, and that I like to follow the ones who talk because the ones who just advertise have a manipulative energy. The second I said that I felt the energy in me shift. I felt my motivations shift. I felt a new level of tension leave my body. I started to become aware of many of the ways that I am manipulative. I am thankful for this opportunity to grow, its easy for my brain to try and slip back into old habits but becoming aware of it has made it easy for me to stop it when it starts to happen.
Reader, if you find yourself similarly stuck in an old way of thinking remember that you can easily release that by opening inside and examining the feeling and letting it go. Keep in mind emotions are not you and as a separate thing from you can be dismissed if you so desire. If you are interested in this method you can get more information here, Sedona Method and as always Reader,
Thanks for riding along
Jammy
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Random Thoughts
I started off yesterday with the thought that I don’t have to feel bad about myself today, then I started thinking about the things I had done the day before and ticked each one off as the reasons why I could feel good about myself. I got in a few then I realized what I was doing, and stopped and I remembered I don’t need to beat myself up today or any day. It’s the beating myself up that is keeping all of this going inside me, it is part of the cycle I am trying to break. I am me, that is good enough. And sure, sure I have reasons I could feel bad about myself, who doesn’t, but hating myself for not living up to some unreasonable standard that I had no hand in creating is getting me no where, and in fact is destroying any chance I have of living up to my own needs, my own potential, or even setting any type of reasonable standard for myself. I have rarely extended myself the same courtesy I extend to others, I have always been quicker to forgive anyone but me. Changing this is a constant process, its becoming much more habitual everyday.
Started to listen to cd three yesterday morning after I did my morning routine… as soon as I realized it was the chart of emotions cd I thought to myself, “Oh shit this is the hard one.” Then I just stopped. I was like why am I putting that label on this? I never did start the cd though. I kept finding things that just had to be done before I could sit down and start that. As I wrote that I realize that it is just my brain fighting to keep thinking in the same ways its used to. I am listing to CeeLo Green right now and he is singing a song called No One’s Gonna Love You (like I do), and all of a sudden I just flipped it and started to sing that to myself. It made me start to laugh out loud. It felt really good. I think it’s the day to listen to that cd.
Since my first cry out to the universe/God/source energy nearly three months ago, when the movie The Secret first came into my life and started me on this journey that is bringing me all of these new ideas and new ways of thinking , my joy in myself, and my hope for mankind, for all of us, has grown and magnified and blossomed in ways that I could have never anticipated. I am so fortunate that in that moment of despair I was able to some how to come up with the right question, the right expression, that I was able to cry out what I needed and be heard. I am even more fortunate that I was open to the answer when it started to flow to me. My gratitude grows daily, my gratitude for this journey, for myself, and for you Reader. More than you can know sharing this experience with you feels like the most important thing I have ever done. I feel humbled to imagine that you would want to share this road with me. Thank you for coming along. I know this post is on the short side, but I really wanted to get these thoughts out and make them separate from the post I will be writing while/after I listen to SM cd 3.
Thanks again Reader for taking this walk with me. J
Oh.. BTW if you Stumbleupon please give my blog a LIKE! I appreciate all the help I can get to get this blog out to as many people as possible. Thanks Reader for your help.
Started to listen to cd three yesterday morning after I did my morning routine… as soon as I realized it was the chart of emotions cd I thought to myself, “Oh shit this is the hard one.” Then I just stopped. I was like why am I putting that label on this? I never did start the cd though. I kept finding things that just had to be done before I could sit down and start that. As I wrote that I realize that it is just my brain fighting to keep thinking in the same ways its used to. I am listing to CeeLo Green right now and he is singing a song called No One’s Gonna Love You (like I do), and all of a sudden I just flipped it and started to sing that to myself. It made me start to laugh out loud. It felt really good. I think it’s the day to listen to that cd.
Since my first cry out to the universe/God/source energy nearly three months ago, when the movie The Secret first came into my life and started me on this journey that is bringing me all of these new ideas and new ways of thinking , my joy in myself, and my hope for mankind, for all of us, has grown and magnified and blossomed in ways that I could have never anticipated. I am so fortunate that in that moment of despair I was able to some how to come up with the right question, the right expression, that I was able to cry out what I needed and be heard. I am even more fortunate that I was open to the answer when it started to flow to me. My gratitude grows daily, my gratitude for this journey, for myself, and for you Reader. More than you can know sharing this experience with you feels like the most important thing I have ever done. I feel humbled to imagine that you would want to share this road with me. Thank you for coming along. I know this post is on the short side, but I really wanted to get these thoughts out and make them separate from the post I will be writing while/after I listen to SM cd 3.
Thanks again Reader for taking this walk with me. J
Oh.. BTW if you Stumbleupon please give my blog a LIKE! I appreciate all the help I can get to get this blog out to as many people as possible. Thanks Reader for your help.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thoughts from early this week.
Today is Monday and after yesterdays session of self acceptance tapping I am still experiencing a feeling of well being and a sense of having released at least in part some of what has been blocking me from not only being myself , but also from trusting myself. I admit I do feel a bit shy with it, but the feeling is still there and very different from what I am used to, but it really does feel freaking great! I mean I see and feel real physical manifestations of my negative emotions clearing out of me. Just now I was sitting here and it all of a sudden occurred to me that I wasn’t sitting with my shoulders scrunched up and hard. That I was indeed just sitting relaxed and engaged in what I was doing not half paying attention to one thing, while the other part of me is berating myself over some imagined awfulness I am or have done or whatever. That is pretty nice. I am so happy to have found the tools that will allow me to never return to that place of self hatred and fear. I know I am getting stronger daily. I feel so much more alive and thrilled to be contemplating making some even bigger changes in my life. I think that writing this blog is part of all of the changes in me. It feels really great to be putting all of this down, to be offering my journey to you Reader, so that just maybe you will find a friend here, find a connection that leads you to a place that gives you the joy you are seeking in your life, the joy that I am finding in my life. I want that joy to be like a happy virus running out from this blog to “infect” everyone it touches with a bug called Joy!
Its pretty cool to me that rather than try to push my emotions back and trying to stop feeling them every time something pops up now, I just sort of start analyzing it and exploring it and deciding what to call it. I almost play with the emotion. I don’t run from it anymore. I just let it be. I just let it tell me what it is and if its not something I want to feel again I just pull out my new and shiny tool, Tapping and get rid of it for good. That is absolutely the opposite of what I have ever done before. I always just felt like such a victim to what was going on inside me not in control of it at all. Like I was just stuck with how I felt and nothing could change that. It is so awesome to have been wrong. Its even more awesome to know its okay to be wrong. I am gonna make mistakes sometimes and that’s just fine. I will make plenty of wonderful decisions and maybe an occasional mistake, but I will learn from it all, I am excited by the idea of it.
I cant stop thinking about this one sentence in the movie The Secret, when Lisa says, “Its not your job to change the world.” I think that is one of the only things about the movie that I disagree with. It is my job. Its your job. it’s a job that we do every day that we strive to be more than we were the day before. When we open ourselves up to Love and Joy in our lives we radiate that to everyone around us and make that part of the world a better place, but even more than that it opens you up to the knowledge of all the ways we are connected. Who did I assist in their journey today or yesterday or last week with my blogs or tweets or facebook links. Did I put an idea in someone’s mind or cause someone to think differently or see in their world a more beautiful place? I don’t know. But the possibility is there. The chance for a connection is there based on the love that I am giving to myself and there by radiating out to all who come in contact with me. I hope that if you are looking for answers or you are struggling to make sense of your world and are reading these words that they are radiating out to you the love I feel for you now. The love that resides inside you now. Use these tools that I have found to help you feel that love, that joy. If these tools aren’t the right ones for you then I hope that this is only one stop on your journey of self discovery and enlightenment. I hope this road leads you to the right tools for you to find within you all the things you need to be happy. Because I promise you now everything you need to feel good and to be filled with joy daily is already inside you. You may be a bit broken, you may have some emotions and experiences weighing you down, but once you clear out the hurt, and pain of old energy you will find a freer and happier you. Even as I write those words I realize that a couple of months ago reading that would have made me roll my eyes and say something like sure easy for you to say. But it is easy for me to say, simply because it is true. I am so grateful.
Its pretty cool to me that rather than try to push my emotions back and trying to stop feeling them every time something pops up now, I just sort of start analyzing it and exploring it and deciding what to call it. I almost play with the emotion. I don’t run from it anymore. I just let it be. I just let it tell me what it is and if its not something I want to feel again I just pull out my new and shiny tool, Tapping and get rid of it for good. That is absolutely the opposite of what I have ever done before. I always just felt like such a victim to what was going on inside me not in control of it at all. Like I was just stuck with how I felt and nothing could change that. It is so awesome to have been wrong. Its even more awesome to know its okay to be wrong. I am gonna make mistakes sometimes and that’s just fine. I will make plenty of wonderful decisions and maybe an occasional mistake, but I will learn from it all, I am excited by the idea of it.
I cant stop thinking about this one sentence in the movie The Secret, when Lisa says, “Its not your job to change the world.” I think that is one of the only things about the movie that I disagree with. It is my job. Its your job. it’s a job that we do every day that we strive to be more than we were the day before. When we open ourselves up to Love and Joy in our lives we radiate that to everyone around us and make that part of the world a better place, but even more than that it opens you up to the knowledge of all the ways we are connected. Who did I assist in their journey today or yesterday or last week with my blogs or tweets or facebook links. Did I put an idea in someone’s mind or cause someone to think differently or see in their world a more beautiful place? I don’t know. But the possibility is there. The chance for a connection is there based on the love that I am giving to myself and there by radiating out to all who come in contact with me. I hope that if you are looking for answers or you are struggling to make sense of your world and are reading these words that they are radiating out to you the love I feel for you now. The love that resides inside you now. Use these tools that I have found to help you feel that love, that joy. If these tools aren’t the right ones for you then I hope that this is only one stop on your journey of self discovery and enlightenment. I hope this road leads you to the right tools for you to find within you all the things you need to be happy. Because I promise you now everything you need to feel good and to be filled with joy daily is already inside you. You may be a bit broken, you may have some emotions and experiences weighing you down, but once you clear out the hurt, and pain of old energy you will find a freer and happier you. Even as I write those words I realize that a couple of months ago reading that would have made me roll my eyes and say something like sure easy for you to say. But it is easy for me to say, simply because it is true. I am so grateful.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
New way to Tap that made me pretty happy!
I stumbled this week, hard. Actually as I write those words I realize that it was coming for a couple of days before it happened. I have been stewing on all this information that is flooding toward me faster than I can handle. I asked for help in a very passionate way and the universe has certainly delivered, I think I overloaded my brain frankly. I fucking fell apart for a couple of days. I cried and raged and pretty basically thru a colossal tantrum. As I put that thought into actual words the truth of it rang clear inside me and I was suddenly able to forgive myself and even laugh a bit at myself for something so small. It is amazing how I am being shown even my own self. I also made a mistake in not continuing to watch the secret if not daily at least frequently. I got caught up in Meridian EFT Tapping, the zeitgeist shit, and then sons of anarchy (good show but very violent and negative so not good for me right this second) and weeds (same thing kinda), and I a little bit got lost from the message of the great secret. I have it on now as I write this and the goodness and truth of its message are washing over me and cleansing me of the negative thoughts I have allowed to build up in me over the last few days. I need to get back on track. But I have to remember this is all new and I still am learning, growing and getting stronger. I need to keep these teachers around me till I am a bit more steady on my spiritual legs so to speak. Right this moment I am doing all of this work alone. I am doing the tapping alone with only articles and videos to guide me, and it is helping but I cant help but wonder if I had proper guidance in the journey would I be doing better? Or an I doing it exactly as I need to for me? I am gonna concentrate that the latter is true and accept guidance where I find it. I know that I feel stronger everyday thru my eft meridian tapping exercises, and as they get more specific and I uncover new things with it, what I have noticed most though is that I don’t trust myself. I am pretty sure that has been a learned attitude toward myself thru out my life, and I am working to discover as many of those times and feelings as I am able to so I can release them and their control over me and my thoughts. I am done living this stunted and frightened way. I am sick of being afraid by everything, of simply being afraid to live. I don’t want, nor will I just sit here and wait to die anymore. I am so mad that I have been doing that. I have to get that put in the right order in my head if I am gonna get past this. I have to embrace me and forget the lessons I have learned that have taught me to hate and mistrust myself.
The above paragraph was written on Thursday this week and when I began to think that I would like a bit more guidance in my tapping I found a new tapping site and technique that I like a lot more than the style I was using. Let me get you a link… tapping and I really like how it gets your whole brain involved. It really works much better for me. There are a lot of vids for it too and he doesn’t say okay now if you want to really know how to do it buy this video or go to our meetings. He just obviously wants to help I like that. He plainly says on his site that he gives these videos away free on his site because he wants to help as many people as he can with this. He has a book sure and I know he has personal sessions too but that doesn’t negate how he is trying to help people with these extremely detailed videos that take you fully thru the tapping process and help you center yourself and work thru your emotions. Its amazing He is a great teacher. I am so blessed to have found him.
Reconditioning my brain to love me is pretty hard work. Not in the sense that its work I cant do but its extremely tiring. Today (Sunday) I spent the morning doing some self acceptance tapping and after an hour and a half I was so exhausted I had to lay down for 45 minutes. I feel into such a deep sleep I woke up so refreshed and I still feel amazing hours later. I know there is still work to do and sure it may make me tired, but damn it tired is a lot better than panicked hatred for myself and I can take a nap! I also really let myself start to think too big sometimes. I have always done that. I get all worked up thinking about things I could never change on my own and start to think how could I possibly deserve to be happy if _________. You fill in the blank there are thousands of reasons to not be happy. Its stupid to use them as excuses and I am really starting to get that now. My unhappiness doesn’t feed anyone or clothe anyone. My unhappiness cant love anyone and I cant love anyone when I hate me and am unhappy. I am much more able to make any kind of difference just by being good to me and damn it, I do deserve it. If you are reading this I hope that you understand that you do too. I hope that if you are struggling in anyway you understand that these tools are here for you too. You called this to you and there is a reason for that. Don’t ignore that! Love to you Reader! XOXO J
The above paragraph was written on Thursday this week and when I began to think that I would like a bit more guidance in my tapping I found a new tapping site and technique that I like a lot more than the style I was using. Let me get you a link… tapping and I really like how it gets your whole brain involved. It really works much better for me. There are a lot of vids for it too and he doesn’t say okay now if you want to really know how to do it buy this video or go to our meetings. He just obviously wants to help I like that. He plainly says on his site that he gives these videos away free on his site because he wants to help as many people as he can with this. He has a book sure and I know he has personal sessions too but that doesn’t negate how he is trying to help people with these extremely detailed videos that take you fully thru the tapping process and help you center yourself and work thru your emotions. Its amazing He is a great teacher. I am so blessed to have found him.
Reconditioning my brain to love me is pretty hard work. Not in the sense that its work I cant do but its extremely tiring. Today (Sunday) I spent the morning doing some self acceptance tapping and after an hour and a half I was so exhausted I had to lay down for 45 minutes. I feel into such a deep sleep I woke up so refreshed and I still feel amazing hours later. I know there is still work to do and sure it may make me tired, but damn it tired is a lot better than panicked hatred for myself and I can take a nap! I also really let myself start to think too big sometimes. I have always done that. I get all worked up thinking about things I could never change on my own and start to think how could I possibly deserve to be happy if _________. You fill in the blank there are thousands of reasons to not be happy. Its stupid to use them as excuses and I am really starting to get that now. My unhappiness doesn’t feed anyone or clothe anyone. My unhappiness cant love anyone and I cant love anyone when I hate me and am unhappy. I am much more able to make any kind of difference just by being good to me and damn it, I do deserve it. If you are reading this I hope that you understand that you do too. I hope that if you are struggling in anyway you understand that these tools are here for you too. You called this to you and there is a reason for that. Don’t ignore that! Love to you Reader! XOXO J
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Damn I dont even know how to title this shit!
Hi Reader! I am really trying to gather my thoughts, over the last couple of days I have watched all of the films by The Zeitgeist Movement and I am reborn. I know that sounds fucking stupid but its how I feel. Its almost like when you take blinders off a horse and he can finally see the truth of his environment, I have been made more aware of what is going on around me and how grateful I am to be awake, and being awake I don’t feel subjected by the rules that are being forced on me by those “in power”, that’s not to say I am stupid enough to go willy nilly breaking the rules to the point I get arrested or anything like that. Here’s the thing though, with this information and feeling of freedom, I am also incredibly pissed off. So as you can imagine its been kind of hard to reconcile those two completely polar emotions. Especially when you consider how much anger I have managed to eliminate from myself in the last couple of weeks. I am so angry that we are all kept from the information that can and would change our species for the better. I am angry that more of us aren’t asking these questions that lead to these answers, and I am angry at all the families/people/power-hungry bastards that have worked cooperatively to keep us blinded to what is really going on. The people in power thumb their collective noses at us and what we need as a whole. And we are being placated with cars and big TVs, and pieces of paper that don’t mean anything. I wonder if any of those “powerful” people have given any thought at all about who is going to take care of them after they killed us all off for dollars. Who will you pay to clean your shit or to be your slave when we are all dead and all you have are dollars? It makes me mad to think of how short sighted we are allowing ourselves to be. But then on the other hand there are all these people who do realize what is taking place and they are trying to tell us. We have some choices to make but I think that most people don’t realize that there is one. I think a lot of the reason for that is that any time someone comes along with the right message that person or people are labeled as kooks so its less likely we will listen to them or if they do manage to get thru even a little they are killed off. Think about how many of the people in the world who were thinking in new and radical ways that are no longer with us and why. I hope we can figure it out before its too late. I hope that all of us can understand that WE are the ones with the actual power and that we can use that power to change the world we live in, and really we wouldn’t have to do anything other than stop working in their system. I know that sounds scary but if we organized and decided together to stop using money and to stop listening to the rules and take matters into our own hands how could they stop us? The true people in power have zero skills expect the skill to create money they cant make anything or probably even figure out how to feed themselves in most cases with out us. So why are we taking care of them? I think some people are starting to get that. It gives me hope.
I am a tad boggled as well by all the connections and how I am becoming aware of them all around me. I am only now waking up to the fact of them, not just the connections around me but in the world and in the universe. Like how I keep getting the information I am asking for every time I ask for it. First The Secret, then Tapping, and now these movies from the Zeitgeist site. It really is pretty amazing how fast all of this is coming my way. I am so calm and so able to control my emotions in a way I have never been able to and as we all know I have been struggling in this life to figure out who the fuck I am and what is important to me, but I feel like I am really getting a handle on that. I honestly feel like all of this new information is beginning to scrub me clean of the filthy lies I have not only been told but taught to believe. About the world about the universe and about where I belong in it. I have never in all my life felt so free to just express myself and be who I truly am and not what I have been led to believe I am by others expectations, desires, and perceptions of what I should or shouldn’t be. Of course this also leads to a responsibility to be sure that I take care in my relationships with others and to remember to love as I love myself, and I have to admit in my broken ass brain its kinda hard to do that sometimes. I am used to judging and hating and fearing anything I don’t understand we are trained to do that. So breaking that habit is a bit of an effort I have to remind myself to remember what I am doing. As I mentioned earlier I am of two minds about all of this. I am pissed the fuck off, but I am also so blessed to have been given the gifts I have been given. I swear I feel like I just got pulled out of the freaking matrix and Morpheus is right there saying it was all just a dream, but just like Neo waking up doesn’t mean I don’t have shit to do! And I don’t think that any one of us has all the right answers but I think if we work together for the betterment of mankind and not the hording of things and money we would be on a much better track than the one we are on now.
I was on Facebook today as I often am just screwing around and catching up on friends, well you know I am sure you go there too. But I see this feed about how congress isn’t paying our troops and how we should stop paying congress, that by it self made me laugh as that person is only half right, congress isn’t paying their troops those troops aren’t ours, and your damn right we should stop paying them. Then one of my nieces writes how she doesn’t support the war and that we are the ones that are the actual terrorists, and sadly she is correct, but of course that spurned an entire family fight on the freaking facebook (yes that’s what we do!) about how Heather is an awful American and human being I guess now that she thinks on her own and not the thoughts preprogrammed into us by the government run media, it was funny how they started to try to scare her out of her opinion by using the lies they have been taught to believe as truth by our system and those who are in control of it. Funny. I know guys I know I sound like some kooky conspiracy theorist but its not a theory if the conspiracy exists now is it? And the evidence is available for anyone who wants to look. I am still just in the beginning stages of trying to look up all the shit in the movies but so far everything I found is right there easy to find if you want to, nor am I saying that these movie are 100% perfect either I am sure that like anyone this guy has put his own spin on shit, I am taking from the movies too that he doesn’t believe in God and that is fine too. I do, I don’t however believe in Jesus, and I didn’t need his movie to tell me how bogus that little story was and I have seen the parallels to other myths myself even as a child so I don’t need anyone to point out to me how ridiculous the story is. Nor do I think the bible is God’s book, it is just a system of control that was put into use a long time ago and if it ever was useful has outlived said usefulness. And lets not forget, the zeitgeist guy isn’t the only one saying we are about to run out of oil, or that money is fake, or that our government is doing some pretty shady shit, or that the bible is bogus, and what about the corporations buying up the water? No one is making that shit up either. We all have had our minds blown by some of the things that have come to light over the years that have been directly done by our own government. I don’t know testing LSD on “our“ troops just as only one example we all know there are many others. I know there are gonna be all these cries of well if you don’t like America get out!, and the good old, we aren’t perfect but we are the best out there, really? Come on. Stop using sound bites as arguments and think for yourselves, cause baby we have got to start paying attention. I know waking up hurts. It sucks but it can also be very liberating. We don’t have to keep living for these idiots and what they want. We can start to decide for ourselves what is important. We can choose differently. Again, I have hope.
I truly wish for a word that more adequately expresses what I am feeling now, but I guess Gratitude will have to suffice, and don’t forget reader one of the things I am grateful for is you. I will get back to more posts on taps very soon I am not done with that, and I am sure I will be manifesting in my life more information and awakenings and you know I cant wait to share them with you, but for now, I am off! Live lovingly and gratefully today and all days. J
I am a tad boggled as well by all the connections and how I am becoming aware of them all around me. I am only now waking up to the fact of them, not just the connections around me but in the world and in the universe. Like how I keep getting the information I am asking for every time I ask for it. First The Secret, then Tapping, and now these movies from the Zeitgeist site. It really is pretty amazing how fast all of this is coming my way. I am so calm and so able to control my emotions in a way I have never been able to and as we all know I have been struggling in this life to figure out who the fuck I am and what is important to me, but I feel like I am really getting a handle on that. I honestly feel like all of this new information is beginning to scrub me clean of the filthy lies I have not only been told but taught to believe. About the world about the universe and about where I belong in it. I have never in all my life felt so free to just express myself and be who I truly am and not what I have been led to believe I am by others expectations, desires, and perceptions of what I should or shouldn’t be. Of course this also leads to a responsibility to be sure that I take care in my relationships with others and to remember to love as I love myself, and I have to admit in my broken ass brain its kinda hard to do that sometimes. I am used to judging and hating and fearing anything I don’t understand we are trained to do that. So breaking that habit is a bit of an effort I have to remind myself to remember what I am doing. As I mentioned earlier I am of two minds about all of this. I am pissed the fuck off, but I am also so blessed to have been given the gifts I have been given. I swear I feel like I just got pulled out of the freaking matrix and Morpheus is right there saying it was all just a dream, but just like Neo waking up doesn’t mean I don’t have shit to do! And I don’t think that any one of us has all the right answers but I think if we work together for the betterment of mankind and not the hording of things and money we would be on a much better track than the one we are on now.
I was on Facebook today as I often am just screwing around and catching up on friends, well you know I am sure you go there too. But I see this feed about how congress isn’t paying our troops and how we should stop paying congress, that by it self made me laugh as that person is only half right, congress isn’t paying their troops those troops aren’t ours, and your damn right we should stop paying them. Then one of my nieces writes how she doesn’t support the war and that we are the ones that are the actual terrorists, and sadly she is correct, but of course that spurned an entire family fight on the freaking facebook (yes that’s what we do!) about how Heather is an awful American and human being I guess now that she thinks on her own and not the thoughts preprogrammed into us by the government run media, it was funny how they started to try to scare her out of her opinion by using the lies they have been taught to believe as truth by our system and those who are in control of it. Funny. I know guys I know I sound like some kooky conspiracy theorist but its not a theory if the conspiracy exists now is it? And the evidence is available for anyone who wants to look. I am still just in the beginning stages of trying to look up all the shit in the movies but so far everything I found is right there easy to find if you want to, nor am I saying that these movie are 100% perfect either I am sure that like anyone this guy has put his own spin on shit, I am taking from the movies too that he doesn’t believe in God and that is fine too. I do, I don’t however believe in Jesus, and I didn’t need his movie to tell me how bogus that little story was and I have seen the parallels to other myths myself even as a child so I don’t need anyone to point out to me how ridiculous the story is. Nor do I think the bible is God’s book, it is just a system of control that was put into use a long time ago and if it ever was useful has outlived said usefulness. And lets not forget, the zeitgeist guy isn’t the only one saying we are about to run out of oil, or that money is fake, or that our government is doing some pretty shady shit, or that the bible is bogus, and what about the corporations buying up the water? No one is making that shit up either. We all have had our minds blown by some of the things that have come to light over the years that have been directly done by our own government. I don’t know testing LSD on “our“ troops just as only one example we all know there are many others. I know there are gonna be all these cries of well if you don’t like America get out!, and the good old, we aren’t perfect but we are the best out there, really? Come on. Stop using sound bites as arguments and think for yourselves, cause baby we have got to start paying attention. I know waking up hurts. It sucks but it can also be very liberating. We don’t have to keep living for these idiots and what they want. We can start to decide for ourselves what is important. We can choose differently. Again, I have hope.
I truly wish for a word that more adequately expresses what I am feeling now, but I guess Gratitude will have to suffice, and don’t forget reader one of the things I am grateful for is you. I will get back to more posts on taps very soon I am not done with that, and I am sure I will be manifesting in my life more information and awakenings and you know I cant wait to share them with you, but for now, I am off! Live lovingly and gratefully today and all days. J
Thursday, January 20, 2011
LOL Friendship
I talked to someone recently that I used to consider a friend of mine, a dear friend in fact. After chatting for a bit and getting caught up with what was going on with him and his hubby (who I used to consider my best friend) I was asked what was up with me, and I told him about what had been going on with me including that I had been diagnosed as a bi polar with a panic/anxiety disorder a couple of years back. And then he said something that will baffle me till the day I die. He told me, “Well we all did know something was going on with you but we didn’t know what.” Wow, Really? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that. Because that basically means that people who Said that they loved me and cared for me could see that I was having a nervous breakdown (which I was btw) among other issues chose to just walk away from me rather than help me. Wow, Really? How is it possible that anyone could profess to love someone and see them so clearly in trouble and not help them. I don’t understand that type of thinking. I can understand if they had tried to help me and I wouldn’t take it. But there was no offer of assistance from them or any encouragement or moral support. None! Its stupid of me really to be surprised that people would act in such a callous cold hearted manner. It is in fact what we do, isn’t it? Anyway I guess what I got from the experience after reflection is the omission from my life of a couple of people who were never really my friends anyway. Pretty good deal I guess even though the price at the time seemed a bit high.
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