Sunday, March 27, 2011

Last few days

     Everyday I am becoming more calm, more centered. Everyday I am less and less tense, I am not feeling that feeling of panic in my stomach all day, my shoulders aren’t tightly scrunched up in defense against the world, and it is quite a relief just to feel good. It has been a really long time and I am so happy, and grateful for it. I am really finding that working with the secret is just so natural and right feeling for me in almost all areas of my life, actually what I am have had a bit of trouble with the are a couple of my personal relationships. Specifically with my mom, and to a lesser extent a close friend of mine. With my mom even though I am intentionally putting more focus on the positive aspects of our relationship, the negative thoughts are more difficult to flip than others in my life, I know I cant change her but it is very difficult for me to just ignore when she is so hurtful and disrespectful in her approach with me.

    Okay as I was writing this I really started to freak out. My shoulders scrunched, I burst into tears, started shaking, and I really just got stressed out. Then I started to talk to myself a bit in my head. I began by saying she really has me blocked up. Then I stopped myself went back and said to myself instead I really have myself blocked up over her, I instantly calmed down, cause if I am the one blocking myself then I have the control to unblock myself. all day today I have asked for guidance on how to deal with her, and over and over I keep hearing the words of Dr. DeMartini from the Secret saying to me when your inner voice is more loud and clear than the outside influences then you have mastered my life. Maybe I need to work on being calm and strong in myself so no matter what anyone (my mom included) says or thinks it matters not to me. My mom isn’t gonna be a nice person or care about me because I am upset, so why bother being upset. I cant change her or anyone else. I have to accept that and I just have to not give a shit. I need to keep working on it, and I am, and everyday that battle is more easily won. I am making it better for me, I know I am, I have all the help I need, all I have to do is ask for it.

     I am trying very hard to use my thoughts and words in a thoughtful and considerate way now that I know the power of the Law of Attraction (LoA) in my life. I do realize that a lot of the way that I would usually phrase and think about things was decidedly negative. I am changing that tendency in myself more everyday. I know I wasn’t always like this, I remember being a happier person. I also remember allowing other peoples perceptions to shape my opinion of myself, so now I just have to change the way I think now and the people I attract to myself, and again I have LoA to help with that. I have to keep the words of Dr. DeMartini in my mind and remember that what I think is the most important thing for me.

     Since watching the movie for the first time I have to have watched this movie 35 times or more and there are still part that have the power to make me burst into tears of joy and relief when I watch it. This is a wonderful message of joy and hope and love, I am blessed to receive it. When the film is over I find it sometimes difficult to disconnect from it and walk away, I seriously want to embrace all these wonderful people who without even knowing it have changed my life forever. I have struggled with life for many years now, and this battle has left me a bit shaky on my feet at times. This film has renewed me and given me strength, in my less strong moments I want its influence around me as much as possible, I need to get the book so I can read it when I am not at home and need strength, oh I bet they have an e-book I can book on my phone!

     Thank you Readers for taking this journey with me as I gain my footing on the road of life, I know as I continue to use the LoA in my life and feel the love that surrounds me those steps will only get stronger and less shaky by using the new knowledge I have gained from The Secret. It helps me a lot to be able to put these words down, and it means so much to have you reading them. It is my wish that you find the journey enjoyable, and keep coming back for more.

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